I LOVE YOU...... MORE!!!!!!!

This week has been interesting.  Four children in 3 schools with different start dates.  My high schoolers went back before labor day.  My 1st grader went back this week and I have one in Kindergarten who returns next Monday. As a result of juggling all these different schedules and that of my husband's many doctor appointments, I was graciously allowed to work from home this week. Working from home certainly has it's perks.  But, working from home with an active and precocious five year old can be challenging.  The first day I thought I could entertain her by working from our neighborhood library.  For the first few hours it went well, until I had to get on a conference call and she had to stop talking for about 45 minutes.  It was the longest 45 minutes of her life, and she may have blurted something out that came to her mind, but quickly said, "Sorry Mommy, I didn't mean it! I love you"  She tried desperately to please me that day that we left out with 5 books that I promised to read that day, and we stopped for popsicles.

The second day I didn't want to put her through such another restriction so we stayed home and I tried to get her settled before my hours of calls, meetings, and more calls, and more meetings.  When I would catch a break I had the pleasure of really getting to know Elisia better.  She is such an awesome and cool kid.  Her mind is full of questions and as she discovers the world and the fullness of it, I see transformation in its most innocent form.  Thursday I had a deadline to get a report in and I was having VPN connection issues, among other things.  I was getting frustrated. Elisia would play and she would pause and check in on me from time to time and say "I love you, Mommy."  I would reply with "I love you, more!"  That is what I say to all four of the kids, and its been my staple response since the first child could speak those words.  Elisia would repeat my response, " I love you more" as she would exit the room I was in.  Minutes later, she would come back in to repeat the affectionate statement, "I love you, Mommy".  And, I would reply,  " I love you, more!"  This goes on and on, and on throughout the day and as my deadline approached I began to feel like it was distraction, and eventually my tone changed.  But, then the whisper came.  Oh how I love that whisper that guides my life.  The holy spirit, the teacher, said,  "This is how I feel about you!"  And, at that moment my heart melted.  He loves me.

Jesus loves me.  Sometimes we get distracted of the fact that all he wants is a relationship with us.  All he wants is our attention.  Elisia, at only 5 years old showed me that she just wanted my attention like Jesus does. We want to make it harder that what it really is. It's really not that hard actually.  When we take time out to enjoy the presence of God, everything falls into place.  John 3:16, says, "For God so loved the world..."  But, in your quiet time, replace "world" with "me"  For God so loved ME!  And, even in my darkest hour he still loves me.  I am still the apple of his eye.

I put the laptop down, looked down at Elisia's big brown eyes, and face to face, I said, " Elisia, I love you more."  She smiled the biggest, prettiest smile and said "Mommy, why do you always say, I love you more?"  I said, "because you are the best 5 year old ever."  I told her to get one of her library books and we read the book.  I listened to her share her view of the world and love was everywhere. 

Jesus wants to be a constant distraction for us.  He wants us to take a break out of our busy lives and just talk to him, just to say, "I love you."  We come to him in times of despair and great need, and we know how to call on him when everything is going wrong.  But, he wants to be in everything we do.  He wants a relationship with us.  His bond is love, and all he wants from us is to acknowledge that love, every day, every second, every minute. 

When I went back to work that afternoon, everything fell into place.  The VPN was back up, the report was completed and submitted on time.  But, most importantly  I took time out to not just spend time with an really cool kid, but fellowship with God.  And, I let him know........

"Jesus, I love you, more!"