I Wish..

I have always wanted to write, and considered myself a writer.  Being an only child, I think I had a great expectation to be as creative as possible in an effort to not become so bored.  After my first marriage ended, I decided to take writing seriously, and I set out to start my first novel.  I was on fire!  I was ready, set, go!  I came up with an awesome working title, "Delusions of Grandeur". I even had my four best girlfriends to serve as proof readers.  Then, it all came to an abrupt halt! I can't really explain why.  But, I just stopped.  I blamed creative writers block and then the old adage-- Life Happened --line.  But, honestly, I was scared and a tad bit lazy.  It is a big commitment to write a novel. And even bigger commitment for it to be good.  Did I fear that my words would not captivate the reader somehow? Who knows.  What I do know now is those words nearly 10 year ago had no meaning.  I wasn't using my gift in the manner that God called me to do. Not only do I consider myself a writer, but I want to inspire.  I want to teach.  I want people to gain insight from my words.  So for the last ten years He, the ultimate Teacher, has been cultivating and preparing me for this opportunity.  I can not wait to share where this journey has taken me and where it will take me. 

Today, I begin my first blog with a matured and humbled spirit.  I am on fire like I was with Delusions, but what makes it different is that I am in a new place of joy, peace, content in all things.  It is an unexplainable feeling that I have, and just grateful that I have come to this place now! 

I was home from work yesterday and my husband became frustrated with me because I was working.  I will admit that I am a work alcoholic.  I do have a tendency to overload myself, (something I will talk about in future blogs) and instead of getting defensive, as many of us tend to do with our spouses,  I asked him if he prays for me.  He hesitated, and then said, "Well, its not so much of a prayer, but rather, I wish you would change".  I am certain that many wives reading this post, are probably mad at my husband right now, but I am not!  Here is why?  The Holy Spirit gave me the confirmation that it is time to teach!  And, what better place to start than in my own home. I don't even know if my husband will ever read this blog, but I know that through my experience someone will have a better insight to whatever strongholds they have in their life.  The words that stood out most to me was  "I WISH".  Don't we all wish for things?  I wish I could have gotten that promotion,  or I wish I didn't eat all that cake,  or I wish I had enough money to pay my bills.  I literally can go on and on about the things we wish for but, you get the point.  We go about our every day lives wishing for things, rather than praying for them.  We want to do everything ourselves, instead of surrendering to the Almighty Father.  Why do we consistently think we can take on this life using our own strength?  It is impossible.  Matthew 19:26 tells us "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

One of the things I lacked when I started my novel back then is a constant connection to God. I admit that I only reached out to God, when I was in trouble. He was always faithful to me, and would always see me out of my problems, but then I would go about life, like it was all about me.  And, then I would get blocked. That writers block I had, could have been removed if I had just asked, but I didn't.  That fear of failure, could have been removed if I had just read His word, but I didn't.

The next time you want to 'wish' something will change in your life, just change your wish to a prayer.  It doesnt have to be a long, eloquent prayer. God knows all about you.  Just be yourself.  Say it aloud or write it down. But, open up the dialogue.  He will reveal himself to you.  Anything you need, have faith indeed.  Just Ask!  You don't have to wish anymore.


Building His Kingdom 1 blog at a time!